If you were asked to define the “perfect” relationship, where and how would you begin? To be sure, each person’s definition would be different. Here are a few key areas to consider as you create your personal definition: Consider reliability and caring. Do you feel that wherever you are and whatever the time, your partner will make every effort to be by your side when you call? To support and help and offer a shoulder to lean on or a hand to hold – through good and bad times?

Consider the degree to which each of you is willing to compromise and negotiate to meet each other’s needs. So, if you regularly give and take and show flexibility, then each will feel their needs are important and being acknowledged. Consider the degree of ease you feel at being totally yourself in your partner’s presence. If you feel that you have to perform to meet expectations, this may be an exhausting and difficult task to keep up with. Consider physical and sexual compatibility.

Do you expect to always feel excitement at the thought of being with your partner or are you anticipating that butterflies may dissipate over time? Do you find your partner physically attractive – not necessarily because he or she is the most beautiful or handsome person in the world, but because beauty is in the eye of the beholder (and it doesn’t matter what others think!)? And keep in mind that physical attractiveness is partly related to liking a person from the inside out.

Consider social sameness – do you both enjoy the company of others or does one of you prefer to stay at home alone? Does this matter to you? Consider what you share in common – do you share a similar lifestyle? Do both of you prefer to be active rather than sedentary? Do you both enjoy culture and the arts? Does one of you love walking through museums while the other can think of nothing worse? Can you balance what you share in common versus what you prefer to do on your own?